If I were Donald J. Trump...

california DC donald GOP agenda kim jong un north korea nuclear war NYC president trump

If I were an ego-maniacal wanna-be dictator who haphazardly inherited control of the most powerful population on the planet, and more than half of its members hated me, HERE'S what I would do...

I'd start thinning the herd. 

BEGIN TRUMP THOUGHT CHANNELING

It'll be easy. Basically we just have to chop off the coastal states with the highest IQ's and education... Colorado's too stoned so they don't matter. Sessions will put most of them in prison.

Ok, let's start with California. Hmm... how do we get rid of California and make it look like an accident. Or, maybe not an accident, just someone else's fault...

I KNOW!!! KIM JONG DONG WHATSHISNAME!!! YES!!!

If I piss him off enough, he'll shoot a nuke straight up LA's ass, and all those clean air craving Hollywood pussies who hate me can put their designer hazmat jackets on for Nuclear Winter!!!

Ok, that takes care of the West, now what about NYC and DC...

GOT IT!

HEY ISIS!! LISTEN UP! NO MORE MUSLIMS! HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW!? I DARE ALL MUSLIMS TO COME TO THE US! LET'S GET THE TENTS READY! KKK ARE YOU WITH ME!?

There we go.. .that oughta piss off enough borderline radical fanatics to make them go full radical fanatic. NYC and DC will be buttfucked beyond repair in no time.

Now that that's done I can move down to Mar a Lago and watch this shit show get flushed.

Woo hoo!!! Hey babies!! Guess who's got your candy!

End Trump Thought Channeling

I'm only half kidding...


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